Ella's Mamaa



**Disclaimer I say breasts a lot in this post** 

Hey Lovelies

**Disclaimer I say breasts a lot in this post** 

So it is 5:00 am and I am up expressing my milk. 🍼

For the first time since Ella was born, she spent the night away from me and my husband. She stayed at my sister in laws house and apparently had an amazing time without me 😢. 

So what's the problem I hear you ask? 

Well apart from the fact that my breasts are the size of two melons and feel like it too, I have never been away from Ella for more than a couple of hours. She is 7 months old and we have never been apart for too long. One of the main reasons is because she is solely breastfed and very attached to us (well so I thought). The pics I've received show that she may not even remember us in the morning 🤣🤦🏾‍♀️. 

Before I gave birth I only ever planned to exclusively breastfeed her for 6 months. When my sister in law suggested they take Ella for the weekend, to begin with, I was all for it. To be honest I thought "great, that means I can get a full nights sleep with no interruptions - more fool me right. As the time drew nearer I thought "sh#* what have I just agreed to?" "Ella is going to scream for breastmilk at 11:00 pm and EVERY hour after 4:00 am". "She is going to go on a hunger strike and not eat for the whole weekend" AND "I am going to miss her" 😢

First of all Ella is fully weaned on solids so I was being dramatic on that front. Secondly Ella really loves her cousins. Her Auntie AV and Uncle MV spoil her with loads of attention and kisses and she loves it. I've been told its healthy for her to have some time away from us. 

I think the fear stems back to the beginning. A lot of people are surprised to know I struggled with breastfeeding in the beginning. When we were in hospital Ella lost a lot of weight (12% of her birth weight). We were put on a strict feeding schedule which required me to feed Ella every 2 hours otherwise we would not have been discharged from the hospital. We were seen on three separate occasions by the Breastfeeding Specialists. Each one giving a different diagnosis for our struggles. The first stated that Ella had what they call tongue tie which was affecting her ability to latch on and suggested a procedure which would have resulted in cutting the piece of skin underneath her tongue. I had just had an emergency C-Section and was hormonal so the thought of anyone cutting anywhere of my baby's body led to me bursting into floods of tears. The second identified a problem with me. My nipples were too flat so she suggested I use a nipple shield to feed Ella. The third came and realised our positioning was not correct and suggested two different positions to hold Ella whilst nursing her. 

At the time I felt a bit of a special case and found myself asking God why I was struggling to feed my baby but now I look back and realise if I did not have all of the specialists intervene the way they did, I probably would have given up on this breastfeeding journey. I really didn't know what I was doing. 
To be honest I still don't know if I am doing it right. I still feel a bit insecure about it all. I still question if she is getting enough and if my breastmilk is filling enough for her. The formula seems much thicker in texture in comparison to my milk.

THEN at 11 weeks old my daughter just decided that she just did not want to take the bottle anymore. She would scream if she saw the bottle coming her way even if it was filled to the brim with breastmilk. She wanted the breast and nothing else. At this point, she was also used to nursing every 2 hours so you can just imagine the nursing marathon I was doing. Everyone was so shocked about the amount of weight I lost so quickly. It was because of how much she was eating and how often she was nursing. 

It is so true when they say it takes a village to raise a child. Ella's village helped me with one of my biggest challenges to date. We don't get much help with Ella so I am always very grateful whenever anyone other than my mum volunteers to help me with Ella. It really touches my heart. 

A massive thank you to: 
AV (my sister in law)
MV (my brother in law)
NKV (my niece)
MNV (my other niece)
Baby V (my nephew)

You all woke up at 4:00 am to feed Ella 🤣 but most importantly you all done all you could to make Ella's stay with you a comfortable one and kept reassuring me that she was ok. I really can't thank you enough.

I am so grateful. 

Soo now we can start weaning Ella off the breast...now that I know she can take a bottle again (I think).

What's your story?

Lots of Love

1 comment

  1. Thank you! Your honesty and your truth make me look forward to motherhood.


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